Miklos is forgetful. That is rather obvious as it is the most basic part of the diagnosis. Some of the things he forgets make a difference, like the bins in the garage: blue is for landfill, green is for compost, brown is for recycle. That is one of the things that Miklos tends to forget. My choices are to do it all myself or just to check every time he has taken something to the bins.

If I insist on doing it all myself to make sure it is done right the first time, I take away a little bit more of his sense of purpose and control. Although it actually takes more energy and attention from me to check up on him, that is what I have been doing. Probably the garbage police are not going to arrest us if we get it wrong occasionally.

As in most American families, the grill is the man’s domain. This summer we had to buy a new gas grill this summer. The dials are a bit counter-intuitive. You would think that High would have the dial turned as far as possible. On our grill, it is just the opposite. High comes immediately after Start. That has proved a very difficult concept for Miklos to grasp. I will remind him to start the grill on High so that we get a nice char and the grill marks that all grill masters admire.

I will remind him to start the grill on High, and he will turn it to the lowest possible setting. If I have suggested four minutes per side, he will bring in the meat in eight minutes pale and raw and he will not understand what’s wrong. I will adjust the dials and raise the heat. Eventually, we get a delicious meal.

More and more little mistakes like the garbage bins and the grill temperature start to show up. Anything that is a new behavior falls into that category. Does any of it matter in the grand scheme of things? Of course not. In fact it is the stuff funny anecdotes in years to come. Many of his behaviors may fit that category. They can’t be funny in the meantime, because that is demeaning to Miklos. They are not very important things, but the small frustrations with them add stress to both of us. It also means that I have to be a much more diligent observer and that gets tiring.