We are going to Hungary! As you might deduce from his name, Miklos is Hungarian, born in Budapest. One of his cousins, Linda Ambrus Broeniman, has written a book about their family, going back three centuries. It is more than just a family story. It is sort the history of the Jews in Hungary through the lens of the Politzer family, appropriately called The Politzer Saga.

There is a museum exhibit based on the book at the Rumbach Street Synagogue in Budapest. His cousin, Linda, will hold the official launch for her book on September 2, at the museum. That is why we are going. Miklos wouldn’t have agreed to another trip to Hungary if it were not for the urging of this cousin. We will see cousins that we love, and meet cousins we didn’t even know we had.

It will be our third trip to Budapest together and I am excited to be traveling. I am also very anxious about the special challenges that we didn’t face in our previous trips. We were last in Budapest six years ago. While Miklos surely already had Alzheimer’s disease, he was not yet displaying any symptoms.

What could go wrong? He could go to a restroom at the airport and get disoriented when he came out and miss the plane. He could wander from the hotel. He could take a tumble. More probably, he could become so exhausted that he would sleep for even more hours per day than he currently does and miss out on all the family events.

My response has been to plan ever so much more than I usually do. (And I usually plan quite thoroughly.) I have made a list of the lists I need to make. I realize that sounds very compulsive, but it is a technique I have found helpful in many situations, from travel to moving to planning a Thanksgiving dinner for 40 people.

In this case my list of lists includes: To do before we go, To pack (with subcategories: clothes, mine and Miklos, electronics, toiletries, medications, miscellaneous), Personal before trip to do list, Things to do in Budapest before other family members arrive.

Cousin Linda has a great itinerary for the time she will be there, but we are arriving a week earlier. That was a suggestion from Miklos’ case manager. He will need more time to recover from jet lag. I am hopeful that the stimulation of being with family members will keep him from being so very tired all the time when we are together.

A suggestion from ALZ connected was that I should hire a personal attendant to travel with us and make sure he doesn’t get lost. My budget would never extend that far. A better plan was to ask for a wheel chair to meet us when we arrive at the airport. He is mobile, but very slow. A wheel chair will insure that we get to the gate on time, and the attendant will make sure he doesn’t get disoriented in bathroom. Surprisingly, Miklos did not take offense at having a wheel chair. That represents a real change in a man who has always before wanted to be completely independent.

We can never plan for all contingencies. I hope I have done enough. I suspect that this will be our last international trip together, except perhaps to visit cousins just across the Canadian border. I have spent more money than I should have to make sure it is very memorable.

Probably, my anxieties are irrational. I am making him sound much worse than he really is, so far. Breathe! Ground yourself in the moment, Anne.