There is an old joke that an elderly man saw his doctor for his annual physical. The doctor said, “I have some bad news for you. You have Alzheimer’s Disease.” “Oh, my,” replied the man. “And,” the doctor added, you have cancer.” “Oh well,” the man replied, “At least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.”

Because his blood pressure was high when he visited the pulmonologist, I took Miklos to our primary care doctor for a follow-up. His blood pressure was within acceptable limits that day, but she recommended that I follow up with daily checks, and text her the averages in a week or two. When he mentioned have digestive problems, she recommended that he take Metamucil daily, and drink more water. She also recommended that we begin to work with a palliative care team

She left the room but we waited for the MA to return with lab orders and the palliative care referral. As we were waiting, Miklos saw his chart, which had been left open on the computer screen. He sat down beside me, very troubled and said, “I didn’t know I have Alzheimer’s. Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Of course, he has been told repeatedly, and he was aware of his diagnosis at the time it was made four years ago.

He forgot the diagnosis, even though he is keenly aware of his increasing forgetfulness and disorientation. He often says “Boy, I am really losing it, but putting a name to the source of those problems was distressing to him. The rediscovery not only shocked him, it depressed him a great deal.

He called our daughters to let them know, which, of course, they already knew. He called his brother, who also already knew.

It broke my heart again to find him so sad and discouraged. And like the patient in the old joke, he will forget again soon enough.