Some young cousins, the grandchildren of Miklos’ godparents, came to visit. It was one of the days when Miklos was reluctant to get up and get dressed. I know he always feels a bit better when he does get up, but I can’t always force it. That day, knowing that the Roberts group would arrive about 3:30, he chose to remain in bed anyway.

Teresa, one of the cousins, has a PhD in nursing. She has spent most of her career in hospital teaching settings, but I was surprised and pleased to learn that for the past two years, she coordinated a large hospice program in San Diego. Moreover, her own father had died of Alzheimer’s related complications the year before.

She took advantage of the fact that Miklos was still in bed to question me about his current condition. I answered as well as I could, and based on what I said, she told me he might be ready for hospice already. I wasn’t quite convinced. She asked about what kind of support we received from the palliative care team, and I tried to explain, but I am not entirely sure that I know what they are supposed to be doing. I hope to understand more after we have a home visit with the social worker.

At about five p.m., Miklos finally made an appearance, unshaved in his robe and pajamas. He was not at all uneasy having all of those people in the house. Even though it had been some years since Eric and Mark had visited us, he had no difficulty recognizing them. And even though it had been longer since he had seen Teresa, and had only met her Mark once before, he was perfectly comfortable with them.

He sat in his recliner and regaled the company with bad dad jokes, and with wonderful, heartfelt memories of their mother and grandparents. The families had been very close. Paul Elek and Nic had been best friends since childhood. Both were assimilated and converted Jews, who were in great peril during the war. At the end of WWII, when the Elek family was able to come out of hiding, they spent several months living with Miklos’ family before moving to Sweden and finally to the US.

When Miklos was finally able to leave Europe for the US, he was met at the ship by Paul Elek, their grandfather, and spent two weeks with them before he rejoined his father in Oklahoma. His memories of these events were vivid, fresh, and cogent. Of course, they are events in his distant past, not from yesterday, and some of his stories, he repeated more than once during the course of the evening.

It was enough to convince Teresa that Miklos is not yet ready for hospice, even though he sleeps so very much of the time. She is also looking into what our palliative care team should be doing for us. It is good to have such an expert advocating on our behalf.