Recently, we welcomed dear friends for a casual supper. Bruce and Colleen are dear to us, but they had moved to Portland some years ago and we see them rarely. Bruce had been a member of a special discussion group that Miklos had organized twenty four years ago. It was an interfaith group that discussed spiritual, theological, and philosophical ideas over a weekly breakfast. Bruce has said that Miklos is his spiritual mentor. It’s a very close bond.

Bruce had also taken early retirement so that he could care for his father in the last years of his life. He is well aware of the effects of Alzheimer’s disease on both the patient and the caregiver.

Colleen’s sharp wit and Bruce’s fondness for Miklos brought out the very best in him. Miklos was witty, with clever word play, not the very odd, nonsensical things I sometimes hear. He was even able to talk about process theology in a cogent manner.

Socialization is one of the most important tools for preventing Alzheimer’s in the first place, or for ameliorating it’s effects. When I see how very well Miklos responds on these occasions, I become more determined to have guests more often.

That evening, we had some really profound conversations, but I know that even phatic communication is helpful in maintaining as much cognitive function. That is why I continue to strongly encourage Miklos to come with me when I go to Lunardi’s. Often, Miklos will say, “I just don’t feel well enough.” But I know that if he gets up and does a little bit of exercise, even if it’s just walking around the store, he will feel better. And he does! And he has very nice conversations with the butcher, the baker, and (not the candlestick maker) check-out lady.