Jewish Family and Children Services has a grant to provide home care for survivors of the Shoah. Miklos has just been assigned a young care-giver named Kat for sixteen hours a week. Muir Palliative Care has also enrolled him in the Guide Program through which he receives another eight hours a week from a woman named Carnisha. He is sure that he needs no assistance and refuses to let either do anything for him. He says. angrily, “I don’t need a babysitter.” Of course, he is still competent in a great many things, but he will not always be. I know he that he can sometimes be a danger to himself and there will come a time when he will need help showering and dressing.

He tells me repeatedly that it’s a waste of money. I remind him that he we are not paying and that he is entitled to it. I also tell him that they are a help to me, and he seems to accept that more willingly than help for himself. It is true. They wash dishes, do the laundry, vacuum, and other light housekeeping, which saves me time for other things I need to do. Best of all, it gives be the opportunity to get out and have a little more social time myself without worrying that he will burn himself or burn the house down. Recently, he did set the toaster oven for thirty-five minutes for a piece of toast. Twice he has heated the milk for his coffee dangerously hot.

He will joke with Kat, who has a contagious laugh. She brings out his worst Dad jokes. Carnisha is more serious. It took longer for him to get used to her. Even when he makes his own breakfast, as he insists on doing, he does get some extra socialization. Most importantly, he will be accustomed to having people besides me in the house and be familiar with his caregivers by the time he gets to the stage where he needs the extra help.