My husband has a remarkable ability to become the favorite patient in almost every medical office he visits — and recently there have been a great many. Our dermatologist says he can come visit anytime. Every time he has been there, the whole staff is laughing about his silly jokes for the next week.

As I mentioned, his urologist and he have a very great mutual admiration society. He is developing the same sort of relationship with the dentist who removes the roots of his teeth that have broken off — four in the last two months.

He charms the MAs by complimenting their smiles, or the colors of their scrubs. He finds something nice to say to everyone in the office. As you can imagine, those compliments are always appreciated.

I feel very fortunate that so far, at least, my husband’s dementia is not making him angry. I have read about so many people trying to care for a spouse who has become hostile towards them and everyone else. That would make life so very difficult for the care giver.

As I have speculated before, perhaps as our social filters change, we just become more of who we really are. For much of his life, my husband was so invested in his work that he had little time for anything else. Now that all he has is time, he fills it with acts of kindness. What a great blessing.