I am pleased that Miklos is slowly returning to about the same level of physical function as before the traumatic days after his surgery. There still seems to be a little more difficulty with daily tasks, and more frustration when those tasks don’t come easily. He still sleeps a great deal. That, I am told, is a normal part of the disease. But now he is once again sleeping only twelve to fifteen hours a day rather than eighteen. He talks about being alive — and being happy to be alive.
He takes a short walk every day, and usually completes all of the exercises prescribed by his Physical Therapist and Occupational therapist. Sometimes he postpones them until the last possible minute of the day.
After acute kidney failure, many patients never return to the same level of function as before. Fortunately, Miklos has. It’s hard to tell whether his cognitive function has similarly returned to the pre-anesthesia, pre-morphine levels, because it has been a while since he was given a cognitive test.
At his post-op with our primary care physician, he could correctly identify the month, day of the week, and year, but she didn’t ask other questions. However, when his Physical Therapist was checking him out on her last post surgery visit, he had more problems. He still knew day, month, and year, but he could not remember socks, blue, chair. Even when she gave him hints — a piece of clothing, a color, a chair. I am not sure he was really hearing or understanding the test. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s all a short term memory problem or a cognitive problem. It means that his mind is slipping away.
I am regaining my energy. The whole ordeal took a toll on me as well. We are living through such uncertain and stressful times in our household and in our world. I stop and breathe deeply. I walk and connect with nature. I need to keep myself calm so that I can comfort and calm Miklos’ anxiety.
Grief in Process 